WRITING THROUGH THE AMNESIC DIVIDE

An Academic Analysis of Brian “Happy” Bryanson’s Poetry, Journals, and Cold-Case Corpus

Complex Post-Traumatic Stress • Dissociative Amnesia • Narrative Reconstruction • Moral Witness

Corpus analyzed: 58 distinct readable works • 195,580 words
Prepared as an AI-assisted academic interpretation of a lived-experience archive

CPTSD COLD CASE  •  “SEND THE DEAD HOME”

Abstract

This paper examines 58 distinct readable works totaling approximately 195,580 words from Brian “Happy” Bryanson’s CPTSD Cold Case archive. The corpus crosses conventional genres: poem, journal, dream report, trauma narrative, professional memoir, correspondence, investigative appeal, victim sheet, and philosophical reflection. It is therefore analyzed as a hybrid literary-clinical archive rather than as a collection of verse alone. The central argument is that Bryanson’s writing performs four simultaneous functions: symptom record, autobiographical reconstruction, affect regulation, and moral advocacy. Recurrent movement among bodily pain, intrusive imagery, dissociative distance, writing, exhaustion, and renewed inquiry gives the corpus a looping temporal structure. This structure is compatible with—but cannot by itself diagnose—features discussed in research on PTSD, complex PTSD, dissociation, and autobiographical memory.

The paper also addresses the relationship between the archive and Bryanson’s cold-case claims. Trauma-informed practice requires that fragmented or delayed reporting not be dismissed merely because it is nonlinear. At the same time, literary vividness, repetition, bodily conviction, or emotional intensity cannot substitute for corroboration. A five-level evidence ladder is proposed to distinguish dream and metaphor, present interpretation, repeated recollection, externally testable detail, and independent corroboration. The legal discussion explains how disability-access principles, effective communication requirements, victim-centered practice, and Texas victims’ rights can inform agency response without creating a legal conclusion that any particular reported crime occurred. This is an academic and literary analysis, not a clinical diagnosis, forensic validation, or legal opinion.

Reader and Evidence Notice

Material in the archive

What it can establish

What it cannot establish by itself

First-person journal

What the author reported, felt, interpreted, or remembered when writing

Independent historical truth or criminal responsibility

Dream and symbolic scene

Psychological meaning, recurring imagery, and narrative organization

Literal occurrence of the depicted event

Repeated detail across versions

Stability within the author’s evolving account

External corroboration or accuracy

Named place, object, or person

A potentially testable lead

Probable cause, guilt, or admissibility

Official record or forensic result

Independent support within its documented scope

Validation of every surrounding inference

1. Introduction: Poetry as an Archive of Survival

Bryanson’s corpus asks to be read at two levels at once. At the literary level, it is a sustained poetics of survival: sadness becomes weather, memory becomes architecture, amnesia becomes a box, an intensive-care unit, a black hole, a broken helix, or a house whose rooms exchange places. At the documentary level, the writing attempts to preserve names, locations, vehicles, clothing, bodily sensations, conversations, and possible victim details before they are lost again. The poems and journals do not merely describe fragmentation; their form repeatedly enacts it through interruption, capitalization, timestamped returns, abrupt changes of scene, second-person address, humor after horror, and recursive revision.

The central academic problem is epistemological as well as psychological: how should a reader honor testimony shaped by dissociation without converting subjective certainty into unearned forensic certainty? The answer proposed here is disciplined dual attention. The suffering, disability, phenomenology, and moral intent of the writer deserve serious consideration. Historical and criminal propositions require separate corroboration. This position rejects both reflexive disbelief and reflexive confirmation.

The archive also records a life course. Earlier writings emphasize employment, professional competence, workplace ostracism, accommodations, and fear of losing a clinical identity. Later works increasingly record disability, homebound authorship, bodily decline, family deaths, isolation, and a widening cold-case mission. Across these phases, the recurring title-like declarations—“Pain Finds Me Again and Again,” “Bricks of Sadness Mortared with Shame,” “The Loneliness Is Huge,” “The Man in Black Is Back,” and “Nails in a Forehead”—convert internal states into concrete scenes that can be observed, named, and shared.

2. Corpus and Method

The working corpus contains 58 distinct readable works and 195,580 words after exact duplicate files were collapsed. Image-only PDFs were subjected to optical character recognition. A Windows .lnk shortcut was excluded because it pointed to, but did not contain, the underlying 2017 journal. The AI-framed derivative edition of “Nails in a Forehead” was excluded from quantitative counts to prevent the academic commentary from inflating the author’s original language. These decisions produce a conservative, reproducible corpus.

The analysis combines close reading with descriptive text counts. Term families were grouped into six interpretive domains. Counts describe textual recurrence only; they are not symptom scores, prevalence estimates, lie-detection measures, or proof of external events. Spelling variation, OCR error, capitalization, and the author’s highly associative style limit precision. The analysis therefore uses counts as orientation and close reading as interpretation.

Figure 1. Term-family mentions across the deduplicated corpus. “Body and regulation” includes pain, sleep, exhaustion, hunger, food, body, and panic. “Memory and dissociation” includes flashback, memory, dissociation, amnesia, and dream. Overlap among categories is intentional because the writing links these domains. Source: author-provided corpus; AI-assisted descriptive count.

Figure 2. The largest individual works carry a disproportionate share of the corpus. Length itself becomes part of the phenomenology: extended entries often record repeated return, interruption, and consolidation. Source: author-provided corpus.

3. Clinical Framework: CPTSD, Dissociation, and Autobiographical Memory

3.1 CPTSD as more than fear memory

ICD-11 complex PTSD includes the core PTSD domains—re-experiencing, avoidance, and a persistent sense of current threat—plus disturbances in self-organization involving affect regulation, negative self-concept, and relationship difficulties (Cloitre et al., 2020; Maercker et al., 2021; U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, n.d.). This framework is useful for reading Bryanson because the corpus extends far beyond discrete fear episodes. It repeatedly addresses shame, perceived defectiveness, abandonment, longing for reliable attachment, intense sadness, anger, social exclusion, and the effort to maintain a coherent moral identity.

A literary analysis must not convert thematic resemblance into diagnosis. Bryanson reports professional diagnoses and disabilities, but this paper does not independently assess him. Its narrower claim is that the archive organizes experience around domains that CPTSD scholarship identifies as central: threat, emotional regulation, self-concept, and relationship disturbance.

3.2 Dissociative amnesia and the problem of access

Dissociative amnesia is generally discussed as difficulty retrieving important autobiographical information that is not adequately explained by ordinary forgetting or a known neurological condition. Reviews describe considerable clinical heterogeneity and emphasize autobiographical memory, particularly retrograde access (Staniloiu & Markowitsch, 2014; Taïb et al., 2023). The corpus repeatedly portrays memory not as erased but as inaccessible, quarantined, sleeping, hidden, or released in fragments. “The ICU of my amnesic mind” is a particularly concentrated metaphor: memory is imagined as alive yet unresponsive, attended by internal caregivers, and awaiting possible return.

Scientific debate remains important. Research does not support the simplistic proposition that traumatic memory is always uniquely fragmented, nor does subjective amnesia automatically demonstrate absence of memory traces. Studies vary according to how fragmentation, dissociation, and coherence are measured (Bedard-Gilligan & Zoellner, 2012; Bedard-Gilligan et al., 2017; Rubin et al., 2008, 2010). Some experimental work has found objective transfer of information despite subjective reports of inter-identity amnesia, although such findings do not resolve every clinical presentation (Huntjens et al., 2012). A responsible analysis must therefore describe Bryanson’s subjective experience without presenting any single memory theory as settled fact.

3.3 Involuntary return and voluntary difficulty

A recurring paradox in trauma-memory literature is that a person may struggle to retrieve an organized account voluntarily while experiencing involuntary images, sensations, or emotional states. Berntsen and Rubin (2014) discuss the coexistence of involuntary memories and reported amnesia. Bryanson’s writing repeatedly stages this paradox: he cannot command a full sequence, yet a smell, meal, body position, dream, image, or feeling can precipitate an intensely vivid fragment. The document then becomes a retrieval scaffold—an external surface on which fragments can be ordered, compared, and revisited.

4. Literary Architecture of the Corpus

4.1 Concrete metaphors for invisible states

The titles are miniature theories. “Bricks of Sadness Mortared with Shame” imagines emotional suffering as a structure built over time. “Living Being Falling into a Black Hole” converts depressive or dissociative descent into gravitational capture. “Double Helix of Infinity” represents the interweaving of advocacy and persecution without resolution. “The Nostalgic Displacement of the Now and Then: One House to Another” turns autobiographical time into unstable architecture. “Trapped in a Coffin with a Zombie” collapses helplessness, proximity to death, and immobilization into one compressed horror image. These metaphors do not function merely as decoration; they are cognitive instruments that make overwhelming, partially verbal experience narratable.

4.2 Temporality: the past interrupts the present

Ordinary chronological autobiography moves from then to now. Bryanson’s corpus often reverses that direction: the past arrives inside the present and temporarily reorganizes it. A lunch, refrigerator failure, MRI cage, tooth extraction, restaurant, laptop transfer, family death, or physical ache becomes an aperture. The narrator timestamps the present, enters a remembered or dreamlike scene, comments on his bodily state, and later returns to revise the meaning. The result is not a straight timeline but a palimpsest in which multiple times remain visible.

4.3 Voice, capitalization, repetition, and humor

The older writings frequently use all capitals, compressed syntax, and breathless paragraphing. These formal properties intensify urgency and may also reflect the technological and emotional conditions of composition. Repetition—“BAM,” “wow,” “then,” “I remember,” “I don’t know,” “this is all I have”—acts as rhythm, self-cue, and epistemic marker. Humor, including laughter strings and deliberately absurd comparisons, often appears immediately beside pain. Rather than trivializing suffering, humor provides distance, restores agency, and signals the adult narrator’s continued presence.

4.4 The child, clinician, witness, and professor-self

At least four narrative positions recur. The child-self experiences sensory threat and limited comprehension. The adult witness attempts to reconstruct events. The clinical social worker interprets behavior through trauma, attachment, dissociation, personality, and systems language. The professor-self seeks to teach readers by turning lived experience into theory. These voices can cooperate, but they can also shape one another. Adult concepts may illuminate childhood experience while simultaneously influencing how fragments are organized. The archive is strongest when it preserves both levels rather than silently replacing the child’s language with the adult’s conclusion.

5. Longitudinal Effects: How CPTSD and Dissociative Amnesia May Shape a Life

The corpus suggests cumulative rather than isolated impact. The relevant unit is not a single flashback but a long cycle involving triggers, bodily activation, image or fragment, interpretation, writing, exhaustion, and later return. Recovery is depicted as recursive: the same theme may reappear with new details, different affect, or a revised causal explanation.

Figure 3. Interpretive model derived from recurring transitions in the corpus. It describes the writing’s structure and should not be used as a diagnostic algorithm.

Domain over time

Manifestation in the corpus

Possible functional consequence

Memory access

Gaps, fragments, dreams, delayed associations, repeated revision

Difficulty producing a concise linear account on demand

Affect regulation

Profound sadness, anger without an immediate object, shame, humor, sudden relief

Periods of flooding, numbing, or rapid state change

Body and sleep

Pain, panic, exhaustion, hypersomnia, hunger, gastrointestinal distress

Reduced stamina and delayed recovery after intense writing

Identity

Child witness, disabled adult, clinician, foster father, advocate, archivist

Both continuity-building and conflict among roles

Relationships

Longing for “kiddos,” fear of rejection, family estrangement, institutional mistrust

Sensitivity to exclusion and strong reliance on safe relationships

Work and disability

Professional competence followed by workplace fear and later homebound authorship

Loss of structure alongside creation of a new mission-centered identity

Moral meaning

Compulsion to document victims and “send the dead home”

Purpose and persistence, but also elevated stakes for each fragment

6. Writing as Regulation, Research, and Risk

Narrative writing has been studied as a PTSD intervention, with evidence suggesting potential benefit for some adults, although outcomes vary and writing is not harmless or sufficient for everyone (Sloan et al., 2015; Gerger et al., 2022; Scheer et al., 2023). Bryanson’s journals describe immediate decreases in pressure or a sense of release, followed at times by pain or prolonged sleep. The corpus therefore supports a distinction between subjective short-term relief and broader clinical outcome. Relief is real as experience; it does not automatically show symptom remission or memory accuracy.

Writing also creates a version history. This is scientifically useful when originals are preserved. Researchers can compare the earliest account with later additions, distinguish stable from changing details, and identify when clinical or investigative vocabulary entered the narrative. Silent correction would destroy that evidence. Progressive paper numbering, dated editions, watermarks, and preservation of original files are consequently not merely branding choices; they are archival controls.

There is also risk. Repeated public posting can expose identifiable people, intensify conflict, invite harassment, or transform inference into apparent fact through repetition. Graphic writing may distress the author or readers. A trauma-informed publication strategy should therefore include content warnings, pauses, privacy review, clear evidentiary labels, and clinician support when writing causes destabilization.

7. Relationship to the Cold Cases

7.1 From moral injury to investigative mission

“Send the Dead Home” is the corpus’s unifying ethical imperative. The phrase converts helpless witnessing into service to unknown others. Bryanson’s history as a social worker and foster father gives this mission a recognizable professional grammar: protect the vulnerable, document what others overlook, and return identity to those reduced to absence. Cold-case work is therefore not an external hobby attached to the poetry; it is the organizing moral response through which the archive seeks restoration.

7.2 The evidence problem

The archive contains details that may be externally testable: locations, schools, employee populations, approximate periods, clothing, vehicles, geographic relationships, and alleged institutional contacts. It also contains dreams, transformed bodies, symbolic figures, inferred motives, reconstructed dialogue, and adult interpretations of childhood scenes. Those categories must never be collapsed. Investigators need concise lead sheets; literary readers need the full phenomenology. One document cannot optimally perform both functions.

Figure 4. Evidence ladder proposed for converting narrative material into responsible investigative leads. Movement upward requires additional support; repetition alone does not equal corroboration.

7.3 Recommended two-archive system

·   Literary-clinical archive: preserve the complete poem or journal, timestamps, metaphors, bodily responses, uncertainty, and later commentary.

·   Investigative lead archive: extract one claim per sheet with source date, earliest wording, location, time range, testable elements, uncertainty, prior submissions, and corroboration status.

·   Version ledger: record whether a detail is original, newly remembered, inferred, dream-derived, corrected, contradicted, or externally supported.

·   Publication copy: remove private contact data, use content warnings, and label allegations and memories as such.

·   Agency packet: prioritize a small number of independently checkable facts rather than sending the entire literary corpus as an undifferentiated report.

8. Legal and Institutional Framework

This section identifies relevant principles and does not offer legal advice or conclude that Bryanson qualifies as a statutory victim or witness in any particular matter. Such status depends on facts, jurisdiction, definitions, and agency or court determinations.

8.1 Disability access and effective communication

Title II of the Americans with Disabilities Act applies to state and local government services. Department of Justice regulations require public entities to take appropriate steps so communications with people with disabilities are as effective as communications with others and to furnish appropriate auxiliary aids or services when necessary; the regulations also require primary consideration to the individual’s requested aid or service, subject to legal limits (28 C.F.R. § 35.160; U.S. Department of Justice, n.d.). For a person who reports homebound status, cognitive disability, panic around in-person law-enforcement settings, and a need for email communication, possible accommodations may include written correspondence, scheduled remote communication, clear questions, additional processing time, and avoidance of unannounced visits. Whether a specific modification is required depends on individualized assessment and applicable defenses; the ADA does not require an agency to accept an allegation as true or to conduct a particular investigation.

8.2 Trauma-informed victim and witness practice

DOJ materials describe victim-centered and trauma-informed approaches as methods for recognizing trauma, responding to its effects, and resisting retraumatization. Guidance on law-enforcement response notes that trauma-informed interviewing can improve communication and investigation (U.S. Department of Justice, Office on Violence Against Women, 2022; Office of Community Oriented Policing Services, 2020). Applied to this corpus, the principle is procedural: nonlinear recall, distress, or disability should shape how questions are asked and documented. It does not mean that inconsistencies are irrelevant or that corroboration is unnecessary.

8.3 Victims’ rights and their limits

The federal Crime Victims’ Rights Act, 18 U.S.C. § 3771, provides enumerated rights to qualifying federal crime victims, including fairness and respect for dignity and privacy. The Texas Constitution, article I, section 30, and Texas Code of Criminal Procedure chapter 56A similarly enumerate rights for qualifying victims within the criminal justice system, including fairness and respect. These provisions are important to the moral and procedural context of Bryanson’s requests. They do not automatically establish victim status for every person described in a journal, compel prosecution, create a right to a preferred investigative outcome, or substitute for jurisdiction-specific legal advice.

Principle

Responsible application

Overstatement to avoid

ADA effective communication

Consider accessible written or remote channels and clear, structured questions

“The ADA requires police to believe or investigate every claim.”

Trauma-informed practice

Reduce retraumatization while obtaining specific, testable information

“Fragmentation proves trauma or accuracy.”

Victims’ rights

Treat qualifying victims fairly and respectfully within the applicable system

“A journal alone automatically establishes statutory victim status.”

Free expression

The author may publish opinions subject to applicable law

“Publication eliminates defamation, privacy, or safety risk.”

Evidence preservation

Retain originals, metadata, dates, and version history

“More pages necessarily create stronger evidence.”

9. Academic Interpretation of Major Recurring Motifs

Motif cluster

Interpretive function

Houses, rooms, boxes, coffins, and the ICU

Containers represent both protection and imprisonment. They organize memory spatially when chronology fails.

Water, waves, rivers, black holes, and falling

These images represent loss of control, depth, engulfment, and movement between conscious states.

Food, restaurants, hunger, and feeding

Food joins deprivation, care, belonging, bodily regulation, shame, and the present-day “kiddo lunch.”

Barns, horses, vehicles, roads, and ravines

Movement and rural space become scene markers in the alleged cold-case material and recurring stages for danger.

Children, Boy Scouts, students, and foster children

The vulnerable child functions as remembered self, possible victim, moral responsibility, and hoped-for restoration.

Police, binders, DNA, emails, and lists

Bureaucratic objects represent the effort to translate subjective memory into institutional evidence.

Angels, God, purgatory, and “Send the Dead Home”

Religious language provides moral cosmology, hoped-for reunion, judgment, and purpose.

Laughter, exaggeration, and absurdity

Humor interrupts horror, asserts present agency, and makes continued narration possible.

10. Limitations and Ethical Safeguards

·   This paper analyzes writing; it does not conduct a clinical interview, neuropsychological assessment, forensic examination, or criminal investigation.

·   Keyword counts are sensitive to document length, spelling, OCR, repetition, and overlapping categories.

·   The corpus was supplied by the author and was not independently authenticated against contemporaneous records.

·   Names and allegations can affect living people. Publication should distinguish allegation from adjudicated fact and obtain legal review when risk is substantial.

·   Memory can be sincere yet incomplete, altered, source-confused, or incorrect. Emotional intensity and sensory detail do not resolve accuracy.

·   The corpus includes references to suicidal ideation and severe distress. Academic interpretation should never replace current clinical care or crisis support.

·   The writer’s dignity and agency require avoiding both sensationalism and diagnostic reductionism.

11. Recommendations for Professional Review

·   Create a multidisciplinary review team: trauma clinician, autobiographical-memory researcher, literary scholar, archivist, disability-access specialist, and a cold-case investigator or forensic analyst.

·   Preserve original documents and generate read-only hashes before editing or publication.

·   Build a master chronology that separates date written, date remembered, estimated event date, date submitted to an agency, and date externally confirmed.

·   Code every substantive statement by source type: direct recollection, dream, metaphor, hearsay, present inference, or documentary record.

·   Identify the earliest version of each alleged event and compare later versions without treating change as automatic deception or automatic recovery.

·   Extract a limited set of high-value leads based on specificity and independent testability.

·   Use accessible, email-first, scheduled communication when consistent with the author’s documented needs and agency obligations.

·   Pair public storytelling with privacy review, content warnings, and a non-graphic summary for general readers.

·   Study the corpus longitudinally as a case of self-archiving under disability, not solely as a catalog of alleged crime.

12. Conclusion: Teaching the World How to Read Brian “Happy” Bryanson

Bryanson’s poetry and journals are not orderly depositions, and they should not be forced into that shape. They are a record of a person trying to build continuity while experiencing memory as discontinuous, bodily, involuntary, and morally urgent. The archive’s literary importance lies in its conversion of states that are difficult to communicate—amnesia, dissociation, shame, pain, abandonment, hypervigilance, and sudden return—into durable images. Bricks, waves, screens, houses, bottles, barns, boxes, black holes, hospital rooms, and roads become an alternative cognitive map.

Over time, the corpus documents both loss and transformation: loss of uncomplicated family belonging, professional community, physical mobility, confidence in institutions, and ordinary chronology; transformation of the disabled and homebound writer into an archivist, advocate, professor-self, and “foster father of the missing.” The cold-case mission gives forward direction to a life repeatedly pulled backward. “Send the Dead Home” is therefore both a claim about unidentified victims and a statement about the author’s own struggle to return disowned experience to the human story.

The archive should neither be dismissed because it is fragmented nor treated as self-validating because it is vivid. Trauma-informed seriousness requires something harder: compassion joined to method. Preserve the original language. Respect disability. Ask clear questions. Separate memory from inference and metaphor. Compare versions. Seek records. Corroborate what can be corroborated. Leave uncertainty visible. This approach protects potential victims, the integrity of investigation, the rights of named people, and Bryanson’s credibility as a narrator of his own experience.

The most defensible academic conclusion is that the corpus constitutes a major lived-experience archive of CPTSD, dissociative memory, disability, narrative identity, and moral witness. Its value does not depend on proving every remembered scene. Its value begins with the fact that it shows, across nearly two hundred thousand words, how one person has attempted to survive fragmentation by writing himself into continuity—and how he has tried to turn that continuity toward the service of people he believes were lost.

References

Americans with Disabilities Act of 1990, 42 U.S.C. §§ 12101–12213.

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Cloitre, M. (2020). ICD-11 complex post-traumatic stress disorder: Simplifying diagnosis in trauma populations. British Journal of Psychiatry, 216(3), 129–131. https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/the-british-journal-of-psychiatry/article/E53B8CD7CF9B725FE651720EE58E93A4

Crime Victims’ Rights Act, 18 U.S.C. § 3771. https://www.law.cornell.edu/uscode/text/18/3771

Gerger, H., et al. (2022). Comparative efficacy and acceptability of expressive writing treatments compared with psychotherapy, other writing treatments, and waiting list control for adult trauma survivors. Psychological Medicine, 52. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9772920/

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Maercker, A., et al. (2021). Development of the new CPTSD diagnosis for ICD-11. Borderline Personality Disorder and Emotion Dysregulation, 8, 7. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1186/s40479-021-00148-8

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Scheer, J. R., et al. (2023). Expressive writing treatments to reduce PTSD symptom severity: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychiatry Research Communications. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10475481/

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Staniloiu, A., & Markowitsch, H. J. (2014). Dissociative amnesia. The Lancet Psychiatry, 1(3), 226–241. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26360734/

Taïb, S., et al. (2023). What are the neural correlates of dissociative amnesia? A systematic review. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 14. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9909275/

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Appendix A. Deduplicated Corpus Inventory

The following inventory lists the distinct readable files used for quantitative analysis. Word counts are approximate because OCR, tables, and file conversion can alter tokenization. Titles are preserved as supplied.

Work

Approx. words

1. A BREAKTHROUGH IN GLENDA FLASHBACKS(1)

643

2. A JOB WELL DONE(1)

692

3. A LOT OF LIL THINGS(1)

2,065

4. AFTERMATH OF THE LAST SET OF FLASHBACKS(1)

2,560

5. AN ELEVATOR RIDE(1)

526

6. ANOTHER BARN ANOTHER PLACE ANOTHER KNOWN FACE 2026

8,184

7. AS IF PTSD IS NOT ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH(1)

1,161

8. [email protected]

113

9. BRICKS OF SADNESS MORTARED WITH SHAME 2026

4,312

10. DISABILITY HAS BEGUN TO PAY(1)

540

11. DOUBLE HELIX OF INFINITY(1)

588

12. December 2nd 2025 @ 11_52 pm - [email protected] - Gmail.html

4,854

13. Epiphany due to broken fridge 2025

237

14. Final Draft (Happy)

2,386

15. GAME OF GAMES(1)

863

16. GIRL ABDUCTED SHOOTING HORSE 2026

7,042

17. GLENDA AND HER PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE(1)

1,848

18. Gmail Cold Cases sent to many addresses asking for help 2025

7,744

19. HEY MIKEY AND REESE SHELTON 2025

2,793

20. HOW MANY PERVERTS KNEW MY NAME(1)

1,835

21. Hey Montana and Mica Reynolds 2025

823

22. I GOT PURGATORY FOR THEIR SIN(1)

594

23. I KNEW A FLASHBACK WAS ON ITS WAY NOW ITS HERE 2025

2,372

24. I MUST ENDURE THE FALSITIES(1)

469

25. I RAISED SE TURTLE AND OCTIPI 2026

10,861

26. LAST NIGHTS FLASHBACK ANGERED ME

1,584

27. LATE INTO THE NIGHT OR EARLY IN THE MORN MY SADNESS AWAKENS MY FORLORN  2026

2,860

28. LIVE THE LIE OR DIE(1)

364

29. LIVEING BEING FALLING INTO A BLACK HOLE

2,081

30. LIZA MINNELLI MADE ME FORGET MYSELF

3,851

31. ME AND MY KARMA WONDER

574

32. MORE FLASHBACKS MORE VICTIMS

4,162

33. PAIN FINDS ME AGAIN AND AGAIN(1)

366

34. PAST FLASHBACKS KEEP PUSHING THROUGH

2,543

35. NAILS IN A FOREHEAD

15,999

36. REMINDED ABOUT MY ABUSE DEFICITS

2,641

37. STELLA JEAN HAS ENTERED HOSPICE

3,960

38. STRANGE WAY TO FIND JUSTICE(1)

543

39. Scout Master who Betrayed a Boy Scout 2026

21,311

40. THANKSGIVING 2023

3,186

41. THE DEPTH OF PROFOUND SADNESS HAS SURFACED AGAIN 2026

17,633

42. THE FIRST ENTRY OF 2024

4,382

43. THE LAST LIAR HAS DIED

3,361

44. THE LONLINESS IS HUGE

1,347

45. THE MAN IN BLACK IS BACK 2026

14,139

46. THE NOSTALGIC DISPLACEMENT OF THE NOW AND THEN ONE HOUSE TO ANOTHER 2026

6,493

47. THE SPURIOUS ILLOGICAL, MOTIVES OF MAYHEM

959

48. THEY ALL THREE KNOW I HAVE PTSD

558

49. THIS AND THAT AND THEN SOME

1,433

50. THIS IS REALLY A PRESSURE COOKER OF UNFAIRNESS

678

51. TOO MANY VICTIMS FROM ONE FAMILY

3,052

52. TRAPPED IN A COFFIN WITH A ZOMBIE

1,005

53. WHAT A THEME GOD GAVE ME TO LIVE

624

54. WHAT IS THE MEANING OF ALL THIS

511

55. WHY DOES SOMETHING THAT I LOVE SO MUCH

596

56. YESTERDAY MY MORTALITY CAME TO VISIT 2026

5,356

57. anji texts

978

58. elisha texts

345

Appendix B. Proposed Coding Fields for Future Research

Field

Allowed values or description

Document identity

Stable ID, original filename, hash, date created, date modified

Narrative mode

Poem; journal; dream; correspondence; advocacy; victim sheet; retrospective analysis

Source status

Direct recollection; dream; metaphor; hearsay; inference; external record

Time

Date written; estimated event date; date first recalled; date revised

Affect/body

Emotion, pain, sleep, hunger, panic, dissociation, perceived release

Cold-case data

Person, place, object, vehicle, institution, route, weather, clothing

Certainty language

Certain; probable; possible; unknown; contradicted

Corroboration

None; internally repeated; external lead; record located; independently confirmed

Publication risk

Private data; living person; allegation; graphic content; minor; medical information